Portal to NightVale!

An AU where Cecil is in charge of Aperture Science,instead of GLaDOS.Also Carlos is the new scientist who is amazed and terrified of his new job.

CECIL:Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.I will be guiding you through the various testing chambers you will be tortured in….I mean tested.

CECIL:Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an “unsatisfactory” mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!

CECIL:Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.

CECIL:This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future … God help you.

I don’t care about America’s Birthday,I just wanna watch pretty colors explode.:D

tyleroakley:

straightdating:

charybdiss:

Please watch this I’m in tears

THIS IS A COMMERCIAL I’M LAUGHING

this was absolutely flawless

This is a magical thing.

(via egberts)

lalalavoldie:

lzbth:

they are potential murderers and rapists. this entitlement to a woman;s body is dangerous and disturbing.

THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS PLEASE STOP. PEOPLE WERE KILLED. FRIENDS WERE LOST. MY SCHOOL HAS BEEN TORN APART.

I say every woman in America should go to this egotistical fuckers cell,break the doors down,and beat the absolute shit out of him,after raping his ass with a tire iron!!!

(via thepageofhopes)

I don’t owe you shit!

Let me make this clear.I don’t care how nice you are.I don’t care if your a “Nice guy.” or how many people think I should give you a chance.If I don’t feel attracted to you,I ain’t gonna go out with you.

I’m not gonna sleep with you,I’m not gonna tell you how sweet you are.I don’t care how long you try to convince me,or how much money or gifts you cash out.

I DON’T OWE YOU SHIT!!!

And if you think I do,then you aren’t really a nice guy.You are a self entitled asshole with an inflated ego!! And I hope anyone who agrees with Elliot Rodger gets anally raped with a long,rusty metal pike!!!

facebooksexism:

thisiseverydayracism:

beccatheb:

raivaryn:

lotticauda:

coolator:

Everyone please take the time to report Beau Miller (https://twitter.com/swerveodactyl) of Port Orchard, WA.

These are just two of the disgusting things he has posted over the past few days.

File your report under ‘threats of violence’ and direct link to this tweet

okay i reported this guy but then i got an email stating that if I’m “not directly involved” that there’s nothing they can do because it’s not their policy or some shit

I don’t think I can

co mpre h en d

Fucking filth

SIGNAL BOOST

Even if Twitter won’t do anything about this garbage, I want to boost the hell out of this. Get his face spread everywhere so we can all avoid him forever. 

Fuck this guy.I hope he gets a fat cock up his ass.

(via thepageofhopes)

wheatthins245:

cosplay-in-the-usa:

Please take a moment and watch this video.

Holy shit

On board.So much yes.

(via thepageofhopes)

icarusthesupernaturalpig:

dyamirityofthelord:

awesomeswordfish:

duaneolson:

a-game-of-romance-and-winchester:

So let me tell you about the shittiest parent on the motherfucking planet.

I work at a grocery store and this man comes in with his 11 year old son. He buys a pack a cigarettes and a two cases of beer. The son was holding a two dollar drawing pad and placed it on the belt and I guess the dad didn’t notice it at first but when I was about to scan the pad he asked where’d it have come from and turned towards the kid and asked “Did you put that shit up there?”. He told me to put it back and then told his 11 year old child that he “ain’t paying for that gay ass notebook.”.  So I looked at the kid, who was close to tears and saying how he ran out of paper at home and my heart broke. So I gave the pad to him, for free, and told the dad I would take care of it. I gave the kid some tokens for a game outside and said I would look forward to buying some of his drawings and paintings when he’s all famous. He kids face was so priceless and I thought everything was good. But then, about 10 ten minutes after giving the kid his notebook, I walked outside and saw this. The drawing pad all ripped up and tossed on the pavement. I could only imagine what happened in the parking lot, but I know that that poor kid heart is fucking ripped apart, just like this pad.

I’m fucking horrified that there are parents like this, who, just because it’s not masculine or gender specificthey won’t let their children follow their true passions or explore interests that lead to their happiness. Even more so, I’m horrified that parents don’t care about the fine arts anymore because it doesn’t have job security. Since when did it ever matter to a child if their passion makes them money or not? Parenting is about supporting whatever makes your child happy. Have some fucking consideration for your child’s wants not your homophobic and anti-art ideals. 

Everybody needs to see this

it’s back, and i will not NOT reblog it v.v ever

what is gay about drawing anyway? you’re holding a pencil and sliding it over a bloody piece of paper, it’s not like you’re trying to suck a cock

I hope this kid has a tumblr when he gets older and finds this.

I would love to have been able to kick this jackass in the testicles.That poor boy.This is why I will never approve of scum being aloud to raise children.

(via thepageofhopes)

lets-bandage-it-up:

freakshow1313:

noitemsfoxonlyfinaldestination:

thatsonofamitch:

enenkay:

zipperaward:

Hi guys! I wanted to inform you about this great thing that is happening!

These smart fellows have devised a way to create cups, straws, mixers, etc that can detect common date rape drugs. This is an amazing idea and it needs funding! The campaign ends in 35 hours and they are a little short on funding. Please, signal boost this or even give a dollar if you can, it’s a great cause and something that will really change the world!

gogogo!

Only 28 hours left! Check this out and spread the word!

donate or signal boost, they still have about a fifth to go!
image

image

IF YOUDONT REBLOG YOU SUCK

Hey! This is pretty awesome, so I thought I’d share here. Even if you can’t donate, signal boosting the fuck out of this is important! 

Patricia. 

(via thepageofhopes)

piranhapunk:

pickypikachu:

faalq:

Holy crap, that character customization. What, what, what.

EA TAKE NOTICE. 

i need this right now i don’t care if there’s no playable game i just want the character creator give me the character creator

I fucking want it! Just this,nothing else needs to go with it.

(via thepageofhopes)

wtf-fun-factss:

the best example of true friendship - WTF fun facts

wtf-fun-factss:

the best example of true friendshipWTF fun facts